Increasing numbers of people have become concerned about a dangerous condition sweeping the planet. Every time there is an annual COP meeting the hundreds of delegates attending, all looking forward to these lavish events after flying in from all parts of the world in their private jets, who require sustenance and are rewarded with tables groaning under the weight of gourmet food and fine wines, have been unwittingly spreading this condition. Since the COP28 Summit in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, this affliction affecting all its attendees has been spreading at an increased and worrying rate. The affliction is known as 'Greenitis'.
The symptoms are easy to spot, they include a total loss of common sense, a tendency to fantasise about the end of the world, usually within 10 years, despite those with this debilitating condition having constantly predicting the end of the world within 10 years for the previous 30 years. They also have a compulsion to make the lives of those not afflicted a total misery. Those suffering from Greenitis have an uncontrollable desire to make the none afflicted live in the cold and dark, to charge them ludicrous and unaffordable sums of money for driving perfectly good, older cars, in cities at a crawl. This addiction makes them foist Low Traffic Neighbourhoods, willy nilly, in suburban areas making life a misery for local residents and creating traffic congestion where none previously existed.
Sadly, one of the many symptoms of Greenitis is total deafness to anything said that points out how the computer models regarding global warming are dubious and mostly wrong. They also take up the worship of a deity they call 'Net Zero', which those who have been fortunate to have immunity know such a thing does not, or never will, exist. But when told the great deafness kicks in, despite many sufferers such as the BBC Environmental editor, Justin Rowlatt, having oversized ears which turn off when common sense is spoken.
The good news is there is a cure, it requires the none afflicted majority of the electorate to not vote for any politicians afflicted with this unfortunate malady. Other Greenitis sufferers need treating with sympathy and need to be kept away from any global warming propaganda. After a period in the real world those affected will begin to realise they had completely lost the plot and many will return to normal. Sadly, there are some for which there is no hope, all that can be done for them is to send them to low lying Pacific islands and in time, when they are not swamped underwater when the ice in the Arctic and Antarctic does not melt, they will realise, late in life, just how bonkers they were to worship Net Zero.
