By Michael Wood on Wednesday, 06 May 2026
Category: European Union

Gondoliers Ruined by Human Bag Pipes

I was, I think, about seven years old when I was taken to the Theatre. Britain was a post-war drab place. That afternoon a new world opened for me. The curtain rose, an orchestra played and dazzling costumes and scenery entranced me. Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance transported me to a new, colourful, joyful realty and began my love of light opera and musicals. The Pirates plot was easy to follow and the singing clear and tuneful. It was heaven.

Last Saturday we went to a performance of the Gondoliers by the English Touring Opera company. As the Orchestra played the introduction I eagerly awaited an evening of pleasure. My heart sank with the first song. I recall that as children we would pinch our noses and sing some song while using the other hand to 'wobble' our throats. The result was a human bagpipe. This child's game has now, it seems, been elevated to an art form known as 'Vibrato'. With only a couple of exceptions I did not understand a word anyone sang. Perhaps knowing that, the theatre had helpfully erected two screen on either side if the stage. On them one could read the words being butchered on stage.

The whole point of light opera and musicals is that they are tuneful, fun and understandable. Can anyone imagine Doris Day and Howard Keel singing the Black Hills of Dakota using vibrato? Doris and Howard imitating strangled bag pipes? It is a horrifying thought.

My evening was ruined and the event a crashing disappointment. It was more so because the production had rave reviews. Apparently everyone now loves non-understandable light opera. Why? Could it be that we are now so used to politicians who spout gobbledygook that we accept not understanding as normal?

I have discovered a way to hear, but not see, performances that are, to my mind, as they were intended. 
This 1929 D'Oyly Carte performance of The Pirates of Penzance   conducted by Malcolm Sargent is crisp, clear and a joy to listen to. 

It would be wonderful if a company could take us back to the originals. To a time when the audience was expected to hear the words, not read them. Politicians are possibly a lost cause. Art should not be.